Always Be
by Petra Megami Assari
Summary: This is another What if...? story. I can't say much about it without giving all the plot away as it's very short but... What if the fight with Beryl had gone differently, what if only Sailor Moon had come back alive?


Petra: Is really going to be any big surprise when I say this is depressing? I think this was the first Sailor Moon fanfic I ever finished. Depressing, as usual, but I promise I'll get one romance out, one that I'm proud of. ^_^ This is the first fanfic I wrote, after reading a fic (I lost the name *weep*) that had a somewhat similiar ending with a made-up character.   
Kati: There's really not much to say...   
  
DEDICATED: To life and love, because not enough of us have them.  
WARNING: Angst (*sarcastically* Suprise... suprise...), I screw with the plot of Sailor Moon, and based off the English dubbed *screams*  
DISCLAIMER: *in monotone* I do not own Sailor Moon, nice and lucky rich people do, not me.   
  
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Neverending  
  
"A soul without faith or purpose is lost forever..." -Unknown  
  
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Tears streamed down my face. All the hurt and pain went into one whispered word, "Why?" after that I didn't feel anymore. All the pain was gone from me. That and any other feelings I had. My heart became a heart of ice and my body became a body of ice. I'd lost everything. I didn't have any family anymore, my parents killed because of who I am and my brother a Dark Kingdom slave.  
  
Endymion stared at me with his lifeless and soulless eyes. My love was dead. The only thing left of him a corpse that the Negaverse used to get to me. All my friends were dead, dead trying to protect me.  
  
Who was I to protect? Just because I was some princess that had died over a thousand years ago? Just because I was their leader? What a pathetic leader at that. Always crying and whining in fear. No wonder Raye had hated me. No wander Darien had hated me. Darien... That name no longer hurt my heart because I didn't have one. All feelings had left me. I didn't care anymore. The Silver Crystal materialized in my hand.  
  
I stared. I didn't feel sad about this at all, about killing my love, or what was rest of him. Goodbye, what had once been my love.  
  
"Cosmic Moon Power!" I screamed. The tiniest bit of grief went through me, causing a single, lone tear to trickle down my cheek. The last tear I would ever cry. Then, it died. Just like Beryl and Darien died. Just like my heart died.  
  
I fell to the ground, all my energy leaving me. I smiled, I was going to die. Thank god for this peaceful oblivion. I'm going to leave this world, this world of pain. All I ever wanted was a normal life...   
...  
...  
...  
...  
...  
That's my story. I'm still Sailor Moon, even though I don't want to be. You've heard my speech, right? "I'm Sailor Moon, the champion of love and justice!" I changed it to: "I'm Sailor Moon, the champion of justice!" Notice the difference?  
  
Love no longer exists for me. It's as far away as the planets that go around the shining sun. The Crystal granted my wish to live a normal life but more evil came and again I am awakened to the loveless life that I now lead. Before, when I fought, I felt so bad for killing the most evil of creatures. Now I feel nothing, nothing except that cold emptiness that echoes inside of my heart and through my entire body.  
  
I don't know what happened to my friends and love. I don't care, I don't think I could let them in my heart again. There's no place for them in my heart, the heart that is covered with walls and walls... it may be ice, I do not know. I'm no longer the champion of love. I fight because it's expected of me and for the people who DO love. I'm no longer Sailor Moon for Sailor Moon had a heart that could love anyone or anything, and mine cannot. I'm a machine now, doing things without even thinking. But... sometimes... I smile at the memory of a crumpled, failed, test bouncing off the forehead of a man with black hair and deep blue eyes, as endless as the sea but... I am still ice and I will always be.   
  
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IMPORTANT NOTE: For those of you that wish it, DUE TO MY SPORADIC postings, I am offering you, the readers, A MAILING LIST to sign up to. When I finally UPDATE, I will SEND OUT AN EMAIL informing those of you that are on the list that I have finally updated. I need you to EMAIL me, telling that you wish to sign up, and whether it's for ORIGINAL FICTION or FANFICTION. I WILL NOT accept those people that ask to be up on it in a review because I can't be sure that email is real. The mailing list will ALSO OFFER the TITLES of those works that I am posting, the COUPLES (if any) that are in it, which FANDOM it is from, and whether it is a SEQUEL to anything.   
  
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Petra: What did I tell ya, more depressing stuff. If you're getting sick and tired of my depressing stuff you can read OATHBOUND which, while having a teeny-weeny bit of angst in it, isn't as depressing as this fic at least.   
Kati: Or the other ones...   
Petra: *sigh* That is so depressing...  
  
"I dream of a day when I can open my eyes, and my dreams won't disappear."   
-Rose Marie Ledam  
  
~Petra Megami Assari~  
*The Gentle Tiger Goddess* 


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